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Parents of teens may find this scenario familiar: Your teenager is talking on the
phone. You check again in half an hour. The teen still is talking. Two hours slip by,
and the teen continues chatting away. Perhaps the teen is on the phone for a
mere half-hour, but homework still is in the teen’s backpack.
Set and enforce telephone rules
You do not need to make an issue out of talking on the telephone unless it is a
problem. If it is a problem, set some guidelines.
Time spent on the telephone should not interfere with homework. It also should
not interfere with teens taking care of themselves, for example, getting clothes or
lunches ready for school the next day.
An effective way to structure time spent on the phone is to assign a block of time
to talk on the phone each night. An hour is appropriate – perhaps from 8 p.m. to
9 p.m. Setting a block of time for teens to talk on the phone lets them have a
consistent time for themselves and their friends. They can tell their friends, “Call
me between 8 and 9.” It also sets a time when parents can tell their friends or
business associates, “Don’t bother calling us between 8 and 9.”
Another way to structure time is to limit the amount of time per telephone call.
Allowing phone usage for 15 to 20 minutes per call, for example, will not tie up
the phone line for a full hour at a time.
Keeping in touch
Often, parents find their best time to talk on the phone is when the teens are out
socializing, but they also want their teens to be able to reach them if an
emergency arises.
Many parents of teenagers choose to get a “call waiting” feature on their
telephone. With call waiting, teens who are out with the family car or socializing
with friends can easily reach you during an emergency, even if you or your other
children are using the phone.
Some parents also find an answering machine can help screen calls when their
teens are out socializing. The answering machine can take messages from the
friends trying to reach your teen, while you can relax with a favorite video or book.
Cellular phones
Cell phones are very popular with teens. If you are thinking about a cellular
phone plan for your family, you should consider the following questions:
- What is the basic monthly charge?
- How many unrestricted minutes are included?
- How many free night and weekend minutes are included?
- What is the per minute airtime rate if included minutes are exceeded?
- What is the long distance charge?
- Are there roaming charges when you are outside your local area? If so, what
is the charge per minute?
- What is the schedule for peak versus off-peak minutes?
- What is the charge for text messages?
- What is the charge for Internet access if the phone has it?
- How long is the initial contract period?
- Can changes to the plan be made during the contract period?
- What is the cost of termination during the contract period?
You should discuss who will be responsible for the following charges with
your teen:
- The basic charge for the phone.
- Any minutes over your basic plan.
- Text messages.
- Internet access.
- Replacing the phone if it is lost.
You also should discuss responsible use of cell phones.
- Sending threatening messages or intimidating others using a cell phone
is illegal.
- Using a cell phone to cheat in school is wrong.
- Using a cell phone camera to secretly take pictures or capture video clips is
wrong and in some cases illegal.
- The same rules that apply to Internet chat rooms also apply to cell phones. Do
not give out your address, cell phone number or other personal information.
- Do not talk on the phone while driving. University of Utah researchers found
that teenagers and young adults who used a cell phone while driving reacted as
slowly as elderly drivers who were not using a phone. It’s much safer to pull
over to use the phone. Your state or community may even have laws that restrict
this privilege. Check with your local police department for regulations and
penalties.
Consider making a contract with your teen that defines how the phone will be
used and the consequences of failing to use the phone appropriately.
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