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Self-esteem is not winning a gold star or making the basket that wins the game.
Positive feelings come from a much deeper source. Self-esteem is having respect
for oneself, one’s character and one’s conduct. Well-adjusted self-esteem is a
reliable, built-in feeling, not something handed out by peers or parents. A teen’s
self-esteem can be nurtured or damaged by peers, parents and other trusted
adults. If this reservoir of self-respect is not filled throughout childhood, it
becomes much harder to fill later. You can help your teen’s self-esteem by setting
up situations in which he or she can be successful through his or her own efforts.
Tips for building a teen’s self-esteem
 Notice when your teen does something good and offer appropriate praise.- Never stop offering encouragement. Teens never tire of feeling special and
loved. Don’t worry that legitimate praise will make your teen arrogant.
- Firm boundaries build self-esteem. A set of clear rules and consequences make
a teen feel secure. Security promotes a positive self-image.
- Tell your teen that you love him or her and give hugs just for being who he or
she is. If you only praise teens for doing things, they will think they are only
lovable if they are achieving goals.
- Always compliment them in public and correct them in private.
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