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When is a preteen or teenager ready to stay home alone?
The answer depends upon your child. Most youngsters
will show signs of readiness for this milestone.
Signs of readiness
- A reliable ability to follow reasonable guidelines.
- An interest in independence and a lack of reluctance
and fear.
- An ability to handle unexpected situations in a
positive way.
- An ability to amuse himself or herself without
supervision.
Staying alone after school
If you decide your teen is ready to stay alone after school, set up the situation
for success:
- Look into other options, such as after-school daycare, before deciding.
- Make clear, firm rules about the behavior you expect. Talk about the
consequences of misbehaving.
- Emphasize that safety is the No. 1 concern, not trust or mistrust of the teen.
- Make sure your home has working smoke alarms on every level, secure deadbolts
and locks, a fire extinguisher, a first aid kit and emergency contact phone
numbers posted next to the phone.
- Make sure your teen knows to never enter your home if a window is broken,
door is open or a light is on. Anything that is different may signify someone is in
the home who shouldn’t be. Tell your teen to go to a neighbor’s house for help
or to call the police.
- Have your teen check in with you or another adult (neighbor or caregiver) as
soon as he or she gets home.
- Teach your teen why it is important not to reveal to anyone, either over the
telephone or at the door, that he or she is home alone. The teen should say,
"My mom (or dad) is not available right now. Can I have her (him) call you
when she (he) is ready?"
- Insist that your child lock all doors when home alone.
- Encourage your son or daughter to tell you about any fears or concerns about
staying home alone.
- Make the choice to stay alone after school a family choice, not simply a
job-related decision.
Being home with younger siblings
Being "old enough" is not the only measure of a teen’s readiness to care for
younger brothers or sisters alone. A teen caregiver also needs:
- An understanding of younger children. Teens should realize small children do
not have an adult’s ability to reason.
- Emergency training, including basic first aid and CPR. Baby-sitting training is
an excellent source for these skills. For more information, see the chapter about
baby-sitting on Page 5.
- Telephone numbers of those who can help in an emergency.
Dealing with friends and weekends
Parents who are able to control their children may be unable to control their
children’s friends. This especially is true when leaving a teen home alone for a
weekend or longer. Be sure to have the following tips in mind before deciding to
leave your son or daughter alone for an extended period of time:
- Make and enforce clear rules.
- How many friends may visit? Which ones?
- What are they allowed and not allowed to do?
- What are the consequences of breaking rules?
- It may be wise to have a trusted adult check on the teen daily.
If your teen is not ready to stay home alone, here are some alternatives to
consider:
- Area daycare centers may offer care before and after school or summer
programs.
- Another parent may be able to share care. You can watch his or her child at one
time, and he or she can take yours at another time.
- Day camps are offered by YMCAs and other local organizations.
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